Written By Laila St.Matthew-Daniel


This is a question most people in an abusive relationship get flung at them; AND am also asking that of you…WHAT THE HECK are you still there for? So lets get a bit real here!! Maybe you think abuse is only about getting your face and body given a ‘panel-beating’ or scarred as if building a spaghetti junction.  No its not! So lets explore this further.

Do you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells when you are around your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you afraid of his temper? Or the way he acts when he drinks? Or what he might do if you tried to break up with him?

Abuse is not just a matter of someone having a bad day or getting into a bad mood sometimes. If your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend forgets to call you one night, or doesn’t remember an anniversary, it can be disappointing, but these things happen even in healthy relationships.

However, if your boyfriend or girlfriend tells you what to wear, controls who you talk to, or pressures you to do things that you don’t want to do, then the relationship is no longer healthy.  This is an abusive relationship that will gradually erode your emotions and physical health and may escalate to being violent

The first step to getting help is recognizing when you are in an abusive relationship.  You must try to put aside the feelings you have about your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend and take an honest look at how YOU personally feel about yourself when you are with this person. Abusive relationships are not usually abusive every second. Usually, they follow a cycle of ups and downs, good times and bad, loving behavior and abuse. Even if things are good for a while, abusive relationships tend to follow this cycle until you break it by getting out of the relationship and away from the abuser.

mended heartRemember, no one deserves to be abused (mentally, verbally, sexually, physically or emotionally) EVER. You deserve a loving and healthy relationship. You do not have to stay in an abusive relationship, no matter how stuck you feel. You have the power to get out. You can also use the help around you and don’t give up! Thereafter, you need to work on your vibration because you have had to shift considerably just to get out.






Get in touch if you need some support.  I am here to do that on: Mrs. Dee +234 80 3395 1460/mrsdee2014@gmail.com.

Get the 15 signs that you are in an abusive relationship from my chat session on twitter.


Laila St. Matthew-Daniel is a transitional Life Coach and Emotions Therapist. An expert in mental health, attitude and behaviour modification to enable people find themselves in the midst of chaos and be all they are programmed to be. The founder of ACTS Generation, (a gender based organisation focused on domestic violence and abuse) Laila is a writer, author and speaker.

 follow Laila St. Matthew-Daniel on twitter @LJSMD