Written By Yemisi A.


Different kinds of people respond to loss in different ways that are usually not subject to the control of the victim; at least at the initial process.


Grief, according to the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary is defined as: “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement; also : a cause of such suffering”.

It is the intense feeling of sorrow after experiencing a loss; especially the loss of someone. The feeling of grief goes beyond ‘sorrow’ itself. It can manifests itself in various unimaginable ways.

There is no grief greater than the other. Grief is Grief and it is unique to every individual experiencing it.

Besides loosing someone, people grieve over other kinds of losses and situations. For example:

As mentioned earlier, regardless of the cause of the grief, It is still what it is – Grief!; Without discounting the extremities and multifacetedness of the grief usually experienced by people who have lost someone who is considered dear and precious.

Grief is a process that is usually expected to get better with time. However, this thinking in isolation is incorrect. Grief can only get better with consciously taking steps to do positive things/acts towards recovery, and even that does not guarantee a full recovery or complete restoration. Note the word ‘positive’ – that means you have to check the ecology of your actions and decisions by weighing its impact on your environment – the people around you. Those positive actions will certainly exclude self destructive acts even if it gives you a temporary relief and escape from your present reality.

Grief, I can tell you has a mind of its own. That is why most of the time you never see it coming, it is usually unplanned and unprepared for. It can manifest in the most unlikely places and situations as long as there are triggers. Unfortunately, even the triggers are very unpredictable, you can never completely tell what is capable of triggering that overwhelming feeling of grief.

For example, someone who has lost his/her spouse may start manifesting grief when the spouse’s favorite team loses a match. It is not so much of the team loosing but a trigger to the feelings of losing the spouse.

We will deal with the many factors that can affect the grieving process and how you grieve next time